Aisling O’Loughlin: “Domestic duties need to be shared more fairly and perhaps we need to ease off on the hyper praise to daddies”
There, I said It
Between not having any time to shower and getting barely any sleep, study after study is pointing to the glaringly obvious. Mothers are doing most of the donkey work and they’re exhausted. The latest study from Georgia Southern University carried out an analysis on 5,800 adults and found that moms were the ones getting up night after night, while the dads’ sweet dreams remained “unaffected”. Each new child increased the “risk of insufficient sleep by 50%”for the mother. This sucks lemons. More studies pile up on top of each other to tell us the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation: depressed immune system, weight gain, inability to learn and retain information… Why are moms being left to swing? Don’t their husbands and boyfriends love them enough to help and relieve the exhaustion? Why is it assumed the mother’s health should be sacrificed? I believe we are so programmed about “women’s duties and chores” from millennia of repression that obvious injustices don’t register as you’d imagine to men or women. Another recent study claimed half of Irish moms don’t have time to shower every day. The survey, carried out by SONAS Bathrooms, found that just under a third manage to clean themselves without children being in the bathroom at the same time. Could it be we heap too much praise on men for their teensiest contribution to helping with the children? You know, those little people they’re 50% responsible for! “Oh, he changed a nappy! Isn’t he great? I may have had to stand over him with the nappy sack ready and waiting and take over the tricky bit of putting back on the clothes but HE CHANGED A NAPPY!” Perhaps this is one area where positive reinforcement does not work. Guys just take you at your word and feel satisfied they’ve helped out. So how can mothers win back some precious shut-eye and nab a washdown without a breakdown? We all know the answer to that. Domestic duties need to be shared more fairly and perhaps we need to ease off on the hyper praise to daddies. Mommies matter too, not just a token card on Mother’s Day.
So the big lesson this month has been, it’s a bad idea to kiss babies with all the signs of conjunctivitis, no matter how cute and cuddly they may appear. I write this through the haze of two devil red eyes. Earlier the woman at the check-out in the supermarket told me I looked like a vampire. She was being kind. Of course it all happened at mid-term. Mid-term was baaaaaad. I’ve never been happier to go on the school run as that first Monday morning back, my red eyes burning the road ahead.
Who’s up for being part of Team Barretstown for this year’s VHI Mini Marathon? If so I’d love you to join me on the day but be warned, I’m walking the course. Run on without me, I’ll be fine. Just sign up. It will be mega. C’mon!
How adorable is this dress from Cairenn Foy? She’s the newest luxury childrenswear brand to hit the market and her designs are all about capturing “the essence of children’s innocence”. The aim is to pass the garments on from generation to generation. This Poppy dress is made from soft cotton and reminds me of a dress I used to love when I was a little girl. It’s €45.99, sizes 0-4 years from www.cairennfoy.com
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