It’s costing companies a fortune. Women are quitting work over it. Guys joke about it. What’s going on?
Could you be doing the menopause thing? It has a habit of creeping up on you, somewhere between the ages of 48-52.
Let me introduce you. These li’l guys are dying to meet you. I call them Droopy, Itchy, Bitchy, Bloaty, Sweaty, Leaky and Sleepy – aka: ‘The 7 Little Feckers of Menopause!’
Who are these impostors and what do they mean? Here’s the lowdown on what they don’t tell you about the changes ahead!
Droopy. Pert boobs heading south? Probably the least of your concerns when you start feeling strangely hot and sweaty in non-steamy situations.
Itchy. Vaginas itch and dry out as ovaries retire.Vaginal dryness responds to 50 shades of ‘lube.’ Opt for estrogen or silicone ones that last for days. Sex is good for you. Contraception may not be a worry but STI rates are rising fastest in post-menopausal women. Vaginal walls are delicate and more likely to tear. Love your vagina. Could it use a lift and tuck?
Bitchy. Moodiness, irritability, forgetfulness are a breeze for PMS veterans and their loving partners. Let’s face it, lack of sleep makes everyone grumpy. Sleep patterns change so you get less during menopause. Add in your high levels of testosterone and you’ll be snapping back at cheeky builders or anyone else who irritates you.
Bloaty. The delight of being freed from periods and PMS pales slightly when your stomach softens and expands. Time for the gym or sweaty ‘suck you in’ pants, if you’re brave and the weather is cold.
Sweaty. Hot flushes and night sweats are the most dramatic, uncomfortable swansong symptoms of ‘the change.’ A whopping 10 degree shift in one minute. That’s a power surge. But it drops back in 1-2 minutes. Unexpectedly flushing to the roots of your hair like a teen is hard to take. Red wine and curries are said to worsen them. Make up your own mind. Change to beer with your curry? Tapas with red wine?
Leaky. Lots has changed since you pushed out your babies. Weakened pelvic floor muscles pose problems for bladder control, infections and lovely orgasms. Bring back Kegels, have ultrasound or get checked by a urologist.
Sleepy . Waking up with all that sweating, flushing and sheet changing means 4am becomes the new 10 o’clock. Insomnia affects weight, mood, libido, concentration and coping skills. Nothing wrong with a brief siesta before 3pm to catch up on sleep.
And the rest?
Misbehaving hair, coarsening complexion and the arrival of a whisker or two are swiftly dealt with at your beauty salon. Menopause is weirdly interesting. Kind of like adolescence without the angst!
Mind Over Menopause
Mindfulness Hypnotherapy eases hot flushes, improves mood, reduces anxiety and regularise sleep. I know. I find it great. Just look at me! Dr Gary Elkins, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Baylor University, validates it for ‘menopause discomforts.’
What You Can Do?
Eat good food in smaller amounts as your calorie needs decrease, it saves on cooking! Mindfulness Hypnotherapy makes weight control easy and motivates you to exercise.
Keep your brain in gear. Treat yourself to cool cottons, silks and fresh linens for total comfort day and night. Keep pjs by your bed for quick night changes. This is no time for nasty, slimy acrylics.
Diva or Martyr?
Menopause arrives when kids are fleeing the nest – hardly a fair exchange. But you’ve been around for half a century. You know by now that you can’t control life. Your response is up to you.
Life beyond PMS? Energised, focused and confident.
No need to let those 7 Little Feckers of Menopause get to you.
